Devotionals by Dr. Holly Brand... Check back frequently for more "devotionals" from Holly as she continues to share God's principles and applications in her life.

“God Talk”

Imagine the following: My young son, Tanner, is captive in his car seat as we are driving in our vehicle. My husband, Todd, and I are having an unpleasant “marital discussion” that continues to escalate and become more heated. Suddenly, we both notice that the back seat is silent; very different from the typical lively stream of toddler chatter. The Holy Spirit grips my mind with the memory of Ephesians 4:29; “Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only that which edifies or builds up others according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Of course! It is my children, Tanner and Walker, who most frequently are “listening” to the way I communicate. I am broken at that moment that my words and tone of voice are not edifying my husband and benefiting my children. Change me, Lord. If someone came into your home and videotaped your communication with your spouse and children, what would it sound like? Does it build others up or tear them down?

People are hurting and in desperate need of good examples of communication. God has a wonderful plan for our words—He is the one who created communication, put mouths on our faces, and ordained us to be His speech ambassadors. But sin (especially pride) has radically altered that agenda. Instead our communication usually reflects hurt, confusion, and chaos. God, however, is the not the author of confusion, but of peace. Through Jesus we have the grace that gives us all we need to speak as God intended.

There is one element of Godly communication that Christians struggle with mightily. Forbearance. What does that mean? Patience when provoked. Jesus, as usual, is the perfect example of this. 1 Peter 2:23 says “when He was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously.” Is there someone in your life that knows how to push your buttons? Is it your spouse? Many people reveal that their home life suffers significantly as a result of communication struggles. Research shows that there are two main factors that predict whether marriages survive beyond the first year: commitment and communication.

God has a mission for our mouths. I could list about 50 practical techniques to improve communication that I have tried through the years, but without addressing the underlying issue, they would be meaningless. Jesus makes it so clear in Matthew 15:18 that the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart and these make a man unclean. Heart disease is the leading cause of death in people over 50 and it is also the leading cause of death in communication. Other people and circumstances don’t make us say what we say; they are simply the occasion for our hearts to reveal themselves in words.

Thankfully, God knows our hearts and is ready to do surgery on them any time we ask. Change me, Lord.